How many women with PMS does it take to change a light bulb?
Woman's Answer:
One!
ONLY ONE!!!! And do you know WHY? Because no one else in this house knows HOW to change a light bulb! They don't even know that the bulb is BURNED OUT!! They would sit in the dark for THREE DAYS before they figured it out.
And, once they figured it out, they wouldn't be able to find the dang light bulbs despite the fact that they've been in the SAME CABINET for the past 17 YEARS! But if they did, by some miracle, actually find them, 2 DAYS LATER, the chair they dragged to stand on to change theSTUPID light bulbwould STILL BE IN THE SAME SPOT!!!!! AND UNDERNEATH IT WOULD BE THE WRAPPER THE FREAKING LIGHT BULBS CAME IN!!! BECAUSE NO ONE EVER PICKS UP OR CARRIES OUT THE GARBAGE!!!! IT'S A WONDER WE HAVEN'T ALL SUFFOCATEDFROM THE PILES OF GARBAGE THAT ARE A FOOT DEEP THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE HOUSE!!
IT WOULD TAKE AN ARMY TO CLEAN THIS PLACE!AND DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON WHO CHANGES THE TOILET PAPER ROLL !!
I'm sorry. What was the question?
Sunday, June 21, 2009
Celebrate Your Father!
For some of us, it's easy to celebrate our fathers. Memories of a happy home, Godly values, and a safe place give us warm feelings. For others, memories of dad may be questionable with neglect, abuse, or no father at all in the picture.
Regardless - if you have put your faith and trust in Jesus, He is the father you can now depend on. Jesus is the father who will never neglect, abuse, or hurt. He's always there, waiting patiently to love us and help us through difficult times or bring joy to us in the good times.
Whether or not you choose to celebrate your "dad" today... take time to celebrate, thank, and show love to your heavenly father.
Happy Father's Day!
Saturday, June 20, 2009
Why God Made Moms
Answers given by 2nd grade school children to the following questions:
Why did God make mothers?
1. She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.
2. Mostly to clean the house.
3. To help us out of there when we were getting born.
How did God make mothers?
1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.
2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.
3. God made my mom just the same like he made me. He just used bigger parts.
What ingredients are mothers made of?
1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean.
2. They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they mostly use string, I think.
Why did God give you your mother and not some other mom?
1. We're related.
2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's mom like me.
What kind of a little girl was your mom?
1. My mom has always been my mom and none of that other stuff.
2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty bossy.
3. They say she used to be nice.
What did mom need to know about dad before she married him?
1. His last name.
2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer?
3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores?
Why did your mom marry your dad?
1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my mom eats a lot.
2. She got too old to do anything else with him.
3. My grandma says that mom didn't have her thinking cap on.
Who's the boss at your house?
1. Mom doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because dad's such a goof ball.
2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.
3. I guess mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad.
What's the difference between moms and dads?
1. Moms work at work and work at home and dads just go to work at work.
2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.
3. Dads are taller and stronger, but moms have all the real power 'cause that's who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friends.
4. Moms have magic, they make you feel better without medicine.
What does your mom do in her spare time?
1. Mothers don't do spare time.
2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.
What would it take to make your mom perfect?
1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery.
2. Diet. You know, her hair. I'd diet, maybe blue.
If you could change one thing about your mom, what would it be?
1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get rid of that.
2. I'd make my mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it not me.
3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of her head.
Why did God make mothers?
1. She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.
2. Mostly to clean the house.
3. To help us out of there when we were getting born.
How did God make mothers?
1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.
2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.
3. God made my mom just the same like he made me. He just used bigger parts.
What ingredients are mothers made of?
1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean.
2. They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they mostly use string, I think.
Why did God give you your mother and not some other mom?
1. We're related.
2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's mom like me.
What kind of a little girl was your mom?
1. My mom has always been my mom and none of that other stuff.
2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty bossy.
3. They say she used to be nice.
What did mom need to know about dad before she married him?
1. His last name.
2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer?
3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores?
Why did your mom marry your dad?
1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my mom eats a lot.
2. She got too old to do anything else with him.
3. My grandma says that mom didn't have her thinking cap on.
Who's the boss at your house?
1. Mom doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because dad's such a goof ball.
2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.
3. I guess mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad.
What's the difference between moms and dads?
1. Moms work at work and work at home and dads just go to work at work.
2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.
3. Dads are taller and stronger, but moms have all the real power 'cause that's who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friends.
4. Moms have magic, they make you feel better without medicine.
What does your mom do in her spare time?
1. Mothers don't do spare time.
2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.
What would it take to make your mom perfect?
1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery.
2. Diet. You know, her hair. I'd diet, maybe blue.
If you could change one thing about your mom, what would it be?
1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get rid of that.
2. I'd make my mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it not me.
3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of her head.
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
Curves Cereal Fruit & Nut Bars Recipe
Thanks to Mary Andrew for this yummy contribution to the blog!
CURVES CEREAL FRUIT AND NUT BARS
Prep Time: 20 minutes
Start to finish: 50 minutes
4 cups Curves Honey Crunch cereal - or use the Fiber One
1 cup chopped mixed dried fruit or dried fruit bits (from 7-oz bag)
½ cup roasted unsalted sunflower seeds
½ cup dry-roasted peanuts
¾ cup packed brown sugar
½ cup corn syrup
¼ cup creamy peanut butter
1 tsp. vanilla
1. Coat a 9” x 9” pan with cooking spray. In a large bowl, mix cereal, dried fruit, sunflower seeds, and peanuts.
2. In a 2-qt. saucepan, mix sugar, corn syrup, and peanut butter. Heat to boiling over medium-high heat, stirring constantly. Boil and stir 1 minute. Remove from heat and stir in vanilla extract.
3. Pour syrup over snack mix and toss to coat. Press firmly in pan. Cool completely, about 30 minutes. For bars, cut into 6 rows by 4 rows.
Per Bar: 150 calories, 3 g. protein, 25 g carbohydrate, 4.5 g fat, 0.5 g saturated fat, 0 mg cholesterol, 2 g fiber, 95mg sodium.
Substitution: Get creative and replace the dried fruit and seeds with different flavors. Try dried cranberries with pistachios or dried apricots with almonds.
Health Twist: Replacing saturated fats with unsaturated fats from nuts and seeds is good for your heart. But, fats are high in calories so keep portions small.
Monday, June 1, 2009
Scrapbook Love to the Khoury Family
At our Girlfriend's Getaway, we spent time making scrapbooks for three of our missionary families. Mimi Khoury received hers this week and sent us this sweet message.
I absolutely cried when I got the beautiful scrap book! That is the most thoughtful thing anyone has ever done for me. Thank you so much, thank the ladies from me and all of us. I leave tomorrow morning...really starting to miss the boys! (and Nabil, of course!)
We love you,
Mimi
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
